Birchbox is the original beauty subscription box. It was the first one I’d ever heard about, the first I’d heard to have wonderful and well-known brands involved.
And in all honesty, the prospect of having guaranteed post every month made me feel v grown up and important.
My time with Birchbox has now drawn to a close, I have had my years worth of post, my years worth of goodies, and my year’s worth of boxes that are slowly taking over my entire bedroom.
And while I absolutely loved it, and would be so excited each month to try out a series of surprises, I haven’t renewed my subscription.
DUN DUN DUN.
Fear not this isn’t a Birchbox bashing, I adore the concept, I just can’t warrant the money it costs on potential things I may not actually enjoy. And I do enjoy eating, so y’know. Swings and roundabouts.
So for any of you lovely lot who are contemplating if it’s worth investing in Birchbox, I’m here to help.
For me, the collaboration with brands and companies is fab. I love the fact there’s a theme each month that all the products are based around, however there were some definite peaks and troughs. So let’s delve a little further.
The best products
Oh em gee. There was some f’ing fantastic stuff. Products that I’d always wanted to try but couldn’t warrant, things I wanted to try but didn’t know how I’d get on. And this is where the concept of the sample sizes and whatnot is so ingenious.
I received 2 Spectrum Collection brushes, Christ alive they’re brilliant. And something I wouldn’t have bought for myself as I already have perfectly functioning brushes.
I also received Benefit’s cult classic Hoola bronzer in mini size. Which once my current bronzer has kicked the can (and believe me, I’m trying to speed up the process) I will be buying in full size. The hype is real. Alongside Benefit’s Bad Girl Bang in mini, a mere week or two after its initial launch. Bang on bloody trend.
Dr bloomin’ Paw Paw Original Balm. What a hunk. This balm has been on my person at all times since the moment I got it. It keeps my lips super hydrated, as well as anything else. It’s completely multipurpose and has stolen my heart.
Beautaniq Beauty Eyebrow Gel. Hubba Hubba. This lil puppy is like eyebrow superglue, it tames the rouge fly-away hairs, it blends beautifully and has completely replaced my Benefit Gimme Brow. Shock. Horror. Please Jesus no.
Eyeko Skinny Liner has become my day to day liquid liner, she’s what I call an in-between product. She’s not quite luxury status in terms of quality, but she’s a damn sight better than highstreet. The colour pay off it fab, but it does start to streak and transfer onto the eyelids as the day progresses.
Now we all knew that the Thermaliv Night Cream was going to be on there. I genuinely cannot face a life where this delicious scent isn’t in it. It’s also a great night cream (y’know, it’s actual function), especially when my skin is extremely dehydrated and I’ve mistreated it with my poor life choices. The full size is now on my forever list of must haves.
One the subject of my skin suffering through my poor choices (AKA deciding it’ll be a brilliant idea to eat 3 giant cookies, a Galaxy Ripple, garlic bread, pizza and chocolate M&Ms all within a few hours). The Nuxe Aquabella Exfoliating Gel is a bloody God send. It buffs away all my sins, protects my skin from the imminent break outs and leaves it feeling smooth and hydrated. God bless you Nuxe and your wonderful products.
And last, but by no means least, the Beauty Protector, Protect & Detangle spray. Essentially a leave in conditioner that is also heat protection and hair perfume. It’s bloody majestic and what I imagine rich people’s hair smells like.
The worst products
Since the start of my Birchbox adventures there is one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty. I f’ing hate natural deodorant. I know it saves the planet, I know it’s better for your skin, but Jesus Christ I hate it. It feels gross, it smells gross and guess what? I didn’t feel protected for perspiration, and actually kind of wasn’t. I did not smell great after a day in the office. So when I received 2 Native Unearthed Deodorants. Let’s say I wasn’t thrilled.
Micellar water. We all know it, we all love it. And I’ve used it religiously every day, twice a day for 4 years with no problems. The BalanceMe Micellar Water, having natural ingredients and all I thought would be pretty wonderful. LOL JK SURE. It broke me out into actual boils. It may have just a bad reaction for me personally, however it was swiftly demoted so it couldn’t hurt me again.
The prospect of an eye roll on that reduces dark circles, puffiness and rehydrates your eyes sounds too good to be true right? Well absolutely, because I was never bloody able to use it. No product came out onto the ball when I rolled it, I must have only been squeezing it for 3 seconds when BOOM. The ball flew out and hi, hello all the product was over my jumper I had put on 2 minutes before. I complained to Birchbox thinking it was defective, they very kindly sent me a replacement. And the product didn’t come out from this one either. Fool me once Polaar, fool me once.
Then we had the Arrow, Colour Changing Balm. So a lip balm that reacts to the pH on your lips and changes colour, cool right? Haha, wrong. It turned it’s the brightest Barbie pink shade I’ve ever laid my eyes on, my teeth looked yellow, my lips looked thin and Barbie pink lips ain’t a look I want to rock, ta v much.
And to end this sad little list we have the only perfume sample I ever got, the Catherine Malandrino ‘Romance de Provence’ and I’m going to keep this short and sweet. If you imagine walking past a little old lady on the street, and you suddenly get a whiff of your perfume and think ‘has it gone off?’ this is what she’s wearing.
All in all I am a little gutted that my Birchbox adventures have drawn to a close, however like some relationship we’ve had our ups and downs. Our good times and our bad times.
But in conclusion I think it’s best we maybe see other people.