It is my birthday eve. In a mere few hours I will be leaving my early twenties and turning a quarter of a century. And sweet lord I’ve been able to legally drink for 7 years, when the bloody hell did that happen?
This non-milestone has got me feeling particularly reflective over what I’ve done with my early 20s. Would I even recognise myself, would 20 year old Jade approve of 25 year old Jade’s previous decisions?
The short answer? Probably f’ing not.
1. I’m a terrible drinker. To the point I’m actually a little notorious amongst my friends and family. I can exclusively drink vodka based drinks, and only if they’re cleverly dressed up a fruity lil number. If I drink gin I’ll cry, if I drink whisky I’ll be furious, if I drink rum I’m guaranteed to puke. Well, actually, I seem to puke most of the time. I’m that guy.
What do my limits and hairgrips have in common? Who the fuck knows where they are?
2. I can be self-centered, and I’m actually okay with it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting yourself and your wants first sometimes. It’s healthy to indulge yourself, and as long as I’m not hurting anyone or their feelings, I am a-okay putting myself first every now and then.
3. I’ll do nearly anything for a quiet life. Almost to a fault. I can’t stand confrontation and I really can’t stand the thought of someone being angry with me. If it’s a case of me apologising when I’ve done nothing wrong, if it’ll clear the air I’ll do it. If I feel wronged I’d rather just let it go and have a little private whine then publicly call someone out. It’s something I’m working on, but yo girl is a bit of a pussy.
4. Short shorts and body con dresses on a night out are never a good idea. Yes they’re cute, yes they’re always on trend, yes every other red-blooded gal wears them. But when I’m constantly pulling out a wedgie, breathing in so people don’t offer me a seat on a bus, or internally screaming at how bad my chub rub is, I’m not having a dandy time. I just want to be comfy, have a drink, have a dance and not have a heart palpitation when I get the notification I’ve been tagged in a photo on social media the next morning.
5. I’m not very good at processing initial emotions. Prime example, my uni friends came to surprise me for my birthday and just showed up at my door. I opened the door to my friends chanting a mixture of ‘SURPRISE’ and ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ and all I could do was stare at them. It takes a while for my brain to process instantaneous emotions, so while it’s working behind the scenes I just blankly stare until my brain has kicked into gear.
6. I bloody love my own company. Every now and then, is there anything more glorious than just having a day when you physically don’t have to utter a single word to anyone? Pottering around, scrolling through my phone, binge watching Dexter whilst stuffing my face with pasta in last nights PJs. Fucking bliss.
7. I don’t take many risks. I’m one of those that always thinks about where the next paycheck is coming from, and it’s held me back with a lot of adventures. I didn’t go traveling as I’d have nothing to come back to. I didn’t try and get into a field of work I enjoy as it would mean a pay decrease. Regret is a strong word, as there’s still plenty of time and I don’t believe you should have regret. However, it is kinda cool to think about how life may have been sometimes eh.
8. I still don’t like tea or coffee. I’ve tried so hard, I really have. However both are like boiling dirt that cost £5.35. I’d rather have a can Pepsi Max and piece of cake for that price.
9. Pressure is not ma pal. People that say they love a challenge, bloody hell how and why?! Deadlines, saving, work progression, eating semi okay(ish), juggling relationships. The second there’s a slight shift and things go off balance, cue the water works and tantrum. ‘I CAN’T DO IT’, ‘IT’S TOO HARD’, “ARE THOSE OREOS DOUBLE STUFFED?’, are all phrases you can expect to hear from a stressed out Jade.