First and foremost, HAPPY BLOODY PANCAKE DAY. I’m already dreaming of the assortment of flavours I’m going to have this eve. Lemon and sugar is an absolute classic, but then there’s Nutella and bacon (separately of course, I’m not a complete savage).
As glorious as Pancake Day is, this year it falls the very day before Valentines Day and it got my cogs turning about the whole notion.
I remember being a gangly 8 year old, and my dad rushing to tell us that my sister and I had both received a card through the post. One of the cards clearly had Dad’s writing it, and the other Mum’s.
But both were signed with a question mark – a ‘secret admirer’. Even at this tender age I knew it was my parents behind it, and I remember thinking to myself ‘I hope a real boy writes me a card one day’.
Is that not simultaneously the sweetest and saddest thing you’ve ever heard?
And I’ve come to the conclusion I just don’t know how I feel about the concept of the day itself.
On the one hand it’s a day where you appreciate that special person in your life. A day that is solely about your relationship and celebrating it. Which is lovely, but every shop window telling us that ‘if you don’t buy them XYZ, do you really love them?’ the real message seems to be drowned out a little.
There’s a culture and expectation of exchanging gifts, going out for lavish meals and trips for no other reason then it’s February 14th. And if you love them, you’ll splash the cash.
Should there have to be a day that forces you to part with your dollar in order to appreciate one another, or should it just be the norm in a healthy relationship?
Personally, I’m quite private about my relationship. I have no qualms sharing what adventures we’ve been on or actually about my boyf as a living breathing man. But about our relationship, I like to keep it between us. As at the end of the day, it is only us that are in the relationship and the only thing that matters is how we work and feel as a couple.
So I never know how to feel when I see a Pandora bracelet with #luckygirl #keeper on IG. It’s lovely that you’ve been treated, but would you have that bracelet if Valentines wasn’t a thing?
Boyf and I exchange cards and as his birthday is a few days after V Day, so we usually combine the two and go for a meal. And it’s divine. But to this day we have never gone out on the day itself, as the price anywhere is tripled its usual rate. It seems like a senseless waste of money personally, as after 2 and a half years together I’m pretty sure he loves me and I love him.
So why is February 14th different to any other day?
And yet, it isn’t only couples who are pressured by this commercialisation of love. It’s literally everyone. People are made to feel like failures if they haven’t got ‘that someone’ by the middle of February. I’ve met people who genuinely cry on Valentines Day if they’re alone.
The day seems to be exclusively aimed at couples, so if you’re single you’re not allowed to be involved? (‘You can’t sit with us’ springs to mind). I know that recently Galentines Day has become a thing, where women celebrate their singleton status, which I’m all bloody for. But should you be ‘outted’ for your relationship situation? Who bloody cares?
And what happens if you’re in a new relationship and Valentine’s is a bit more of a step then either of you are ready to make? Should you be forced to slap a label on your relationship, even rush a relationship in order to conform to a single day? I really don’t think so.
If you’re a sucker for a mushy card and a candlelit dinner with your partner, amazing.
If you’d rather just sit watching Homeland eating Oreos with boo, awesome.
You’re a single independent woman and don’t need no man, magical.
It’s your day to spend however you choose, don’t let it be dictated to you by the sales teams of Thorntons. Do whatever feels right to you. And at the end of it all, it’s just a day, don’t let it stress you.