Today officially makes my 6 year anniversary of starting university, which is crazy. I’ve been out in the ‘real world’ as long as I was ever at uni – sadness. I remember thinking before I left at the ripe old age of 18, that I knew what it was going to be like. And for the most part I did, lots of studying, lots of stress and lots of drink. However, there were things I was less prepared for that I’d thought I’d share for anyone that’s venturing off to uni this year.
1. You’ll get fat
Sorry to break it to you, but you’ll be drinking a hell of a lot and eating crap even more regularly. The night shift people in Mcdonalds will probably know you by name by your third week.
2. The cost of a drink will become a measurement of currency
‘£50.00 for a textbook?! I could get 20 vodka lemonades for that price!’
3. Landlord’s don’t care about you
The radiator in my room was broken and the windows didn’t have double glazing. The walls were wet and I got frostbite under my nose. I wish this was an exaggeration.
4. Food or booze
As the term trudges on and your bank balance gets smaller and smaller, you’ll be faced with the choice to eat or go on drinking. And we all know what the answer will be.
5. Everything you own will smell of damp
You won’t be able to afford to have the heating on, ergo in the winter months you and everything you own will smell – at least you’re all in the same boat.
6. Coming home is like staying in a hotel
Coming home for Christmas especially, with the heating on, everything is so clean and a fully stocked fridge. You could weep with joy.
7. You’ll contemplate quitting 281,028 times
When you suddenly remember you have a deadline after you’ve come home at 3:00am steaming drunk you’ll think, ‘do I REALLY need this degree?’.
8. You’ll be thankful that weekends are expensive
After the countless student nights and Jäger bombs, you’ll thank your lucky stars it’s too expensive to go out at the weekend. Give your liver some time to regenerate.
9. Spend rather than wash
There will come a time, where rather than washing the clothes you do have. You’ll buy something brand new, just because it’s clean. The laziness of student living has no boundaries.
10. You’ll ditch classes
You start with such good intentions of being an ace student, and being dedicated no matter what. But there will be that particular subject where you wouldn’t even know your lecturer if they punched you in the face.
11. You’ll be drunk in brand new situations
You’ll experience the classic ‘I’m still drunk from the night before’ a few times throughout your uni career, which exposes you to a lot of new situations. Being drunk in lecture? Yes. Being drunk eating breakfast? Yes. Being drunk during a seminar? Yes. Being drunk when the next lot of drinking begins? Yes.
12. You’ll forget to call your parents
You’ll be so busy/hungover that trying to keep yourself alive trumps every other responsibility. Bad children points for everyone.
I wish that some of these things weren’t true, but I feel you need to be prepared. It’s a big change, but the first real adventure you’ll have – savour every moment.
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