2017 has been a bit like a bag of Revels personally. Some of it is delicious and unexpected orange and others have been bitter and sad coffee. However, the biggest change and the one I’m most excited about is my new and shiny ‘fuck it’ mentality. My worries are something I’m leaving in 2017.
While I like to give off the, IDGAF vibe and that I march to the beat of my own drum, I do worry about a lot. And most of it is out of my control, and it was affecting my everyday happiness. So it was time to start practising what I preach, and I’ve been the happiest lil thang you ever did see.
So in the spirit of my new ‘fuck it’ mindset and with the New Year poking its head around the corner, here are some things I’m leaving in 2017.
Especially in the blogging community I feel it’s so easy to get swept along with what others are doing, that you forget about your own voice and your own platform. I’m no stranger to a pang of envy every now and again, and I will hold my hands up to that.
When someone who is in a similar position to myself in terms of their blogging ‘brand’ (lol), and they are presented with these fabulous opportunities to work with amazing companies etc. The little voice in the back of your head murmurs ‘why aren’t I getting these opportunities? Am I not as good as them?’ – It’s a vicious cycle. As the little voice seems to become louder the more you listen, and then his little mate doubt pipes up.
I start doubting my own work, my own style and thus I lose motivation altogether, as what’s the point? Surely someone much more creative and articulate has already done it. And then it becomes about the business side of it, rather than the sheer love of blogging. Which is why I and so many others entered this little bubble in the first place.
And again, I like many girls compare myself a bloody lot of the time. Especially to other girls. In fact, in my case it’s exclusively to girls.
‘Oh look at her beautiful skin’, ‘her legs come up to my armpits’, ‘I bet she could wear a bin bag and still look majestic’. There hasn’t been a day since I was probably about 13 that at least one of these thoughts hasn’t entered my mind, and you know what? I’m bloody bored.
I’m bored of putting myself down. And I’m definitely bored of scanning any room I walk into and gauging where I rank within it in terms of ‘attractiveness’. How bloody pathetic.
And yet, we all do it. So, I’ve decided to quit and go cold turkey. I want to be happy in my own skin, and be happy for others in theirs. We are all beautiful, so why do we make it a competition?
This is something I’m absolutely elated about, and I cannot wait to start. Since I was old enough to purchase myself a glossy fashion magazine , it’s plastered with ‘how to drop 4 dress sizes in 15 minutes’ type claims. All completely unrealistic and imposes the question, am I too heavy?
And it starts there, the fixation on numbers, tying your identity into a couple of digits that come out of a little box. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve walked away from a weigh in and felt good about myself. And the only time you are happy walking away, is if the number has decreased.
God forbid that number has gone up, because that means you’re ugly and undesirable now, right?
WRONG. It’s literally a number on a little screen, it doesn’t tell you anything about what you’re like as a person, what your talents are, what your loved ones think of you or anything remotely valuable.
It tells you how much someone would have to lift if they picked you up, and I for one am ay-okay with keeping my feet on the ground tah. So that’s it, I’m not weighing myself anymore, I know my body well enough to know when things have changed, and that’s all I need.
I was rummaging around my wardrobe looking for a fierce outfit to wear this particularly sassy day, and I finally saw it. That 79% of my wardrobe is filled with black, ‘flattering’ clothes. And I was bloody horrified.
There was nothing in there that showed off my personality.. There was nothing in there that I felt magnificent in. And there was nothing in there that I was buzzing to wear.
The majority of my pieces were black, ‘because it’s slimming and goes with everything’. And typically ‘flattering’ in the way there was nothing particular figure hugging. As it could lead to seeing lumps and bumps!
SHAME *rings bell* SHAME.
So, 2018 I’m reinventing my wardrobe with things I actually enjoying wearing and feel good and confident in. The question I will ask myself when trying a piece on will be ‘how does this make you feel?’ rather than ‘does this make you look fat?’. Look at me being all body posy up in here!
What’re you leaving in 2017?