Now I know for the vast majority of people, we all have our moments of madness. Where we’re in a bad mood for some trivial reason and we’re repping that ‘face like a slapped arse’ kinda vibe.
And there is nothing wrong with that, we’re all entitled to our own feelings. And at some stage we’re all going to go through some hard times that push us to our wits end.
You are entitled to your feelings, however what you’re not entitled to is to take out your frustrations on an innocent party. Snapping at someone and saying or doing something either hurtful or malicious or even just passive aggressive is not acceptable.
You do not have the right to be an asshole because you’re going through something. Rather than lashing out, ask for help, talk about the issue, begin to deal with it, instead of little aggressive explosions.
It may not be a big deal to you; a snotty comment, pushing people away, anything, but it could be the difference between a good and a bad day to someone else. Passing on your negativity and placing it on someone else’s shoulders could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
I work with a woman who is going through a bit of a tough time, I’m don’t have a clue what it’s about however she took her frustrations out on me. She aggressively critiqued my work, something I’m in the midst of learning anyway. She picked holes in my knowledge and undermined my overall intelligence.
Something that sets off my mental health anyway is the feeling that I am not bright enough, I don’t pick things up as quickly as others and it’s a huge anxiety I have. So not only were her words hurtful, she made sure senior staff saw her words.
It was quickly put to bed and she was given a swift and firm slap on the wrist, however that didn’t help me. That didn’t make it so the words were unsaid, as with anything once it’s been said it’s out there forever. It can never be unsaid or unheard.
There was no apology, there was no encouragement that I am in fact doing well and so I spiraled. What was a good mental health day effectively turned into one of the worst I’ve ever had. I spent the rest of the day in silence, and worked from home the next as I couldn’t bring myself to be in that toxic environment.
Words can hurt. Small acts can be huge to someone else. And your words and actions can feel like the end of the world to someone innocent because you were ‘having a bad day’.
If you know you’re going through something, you don’t have to tell anyone what it is if you don’t want to. But if you know you’re on the verge of being an asshole to someone, just say you need some space and bloody warn them.
Have a little more patience and realise that the person you’re about to vent your anger out on isn’t actually the cause of your frustrations. Like driving along, minding your own business and a car pulls out and completely cuts you up, it’s annoying and dangerous yes, but that’s their deal. You getting angry and shouting or whatever won’t turn back time and undo what they’ve done. So who cares?
Have a little more patience with people, take a moment to breath and reflect on your next step before you act. You don’t have to like what someone else does that potentially pisses you off, but ask yourself; does it directly affect me? Is it any of my business? Is it hurting me?
If the answer is no and you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t fucking say anything.