Home » Can We Please Stop Pretending We’re Perfect Online

Can We Please Stop Pretending We’re Perfect Online

Can We Please Stop Pretending We’re Perfect Online

This week marked the beginning of my new role at work as an Underwriter, something I’m so proud to have achieved. However, my first week completely kicked my ass. My mind was so tired every evening when I came home from all the new processes, new ways of working and attempting to remember about 30 new names.

If in doubt call them ‘mate’, everyone responds to ‘mate’.

As it has been so manic and I slip into a coma the second I walk through my bedroom door, blogging and social media have taken a back seat. And I felt so guilty that I could have just combusted.

My religiously upload a blog post twice during the working week, with IG posts and countless tweets in between. And it’s been this way for quite some time. But this week, I missed everything. There was no weekday posts, there was not a single IG upload and my tweets might as well have been non-existent.

And it put me on edge. I found myself planning out my content in my mind when I was meant to be learning about foreign taxes at 3:30 on a Wednesday afternoon. It completely consumed my thoughts. I thought to myself, that if I didn’t get straight back to it I would lose everything I’d worked so hard for. My followers (on IG especially, F U algorithm) would have gone, no one would care what I had to say when I did come back because I’m no longer ‘dedicated’. And I’m completely guilty for thinking it of others. When they don’t put up a blog post for weeks upon weeks, no engagements on social media, I think that they’re ‘clearly not dedicated enough’ when in reality, it’s only me projecting the pressure I put on myself onto others.

My blog is my hobby, it’s something I do in my free time and it’s something I enjoy immensely. So when did I turn it into something that I needed to do, that I put pressure on, and something that wasn’t fun anymore?

I’ve found myself in the past few weeks, writing posts that I think will be well received in the blogging community, rather than something I actually want to address and am passionate about.

I’ve also found myself writing tweets that I think will gain maximum retweets and impressions. And the bane of all our lives. Instagram. I’ve found myself thinking, ‘will that picture get me enough likes?’. And then feeling like a complete loser if it doesn’t meet my expectations.

Social medias, blogs, everything that is shared online is a highlight reel. So when you compare yourself and your work to someone else’s, you’re only seeing a select range. You’re not seeing the full picture, much like people won’t see your full picture.

I’ve caught myself in the trap so many times of thinking ‘if I just get up to xyz followers, then I’ll be happy’. ‘When I get xyz followers, I’ll be presented with more opportunities, I’ll get invited to events and be paid through the nose from abc brand’.

And the biggest one for me is ‘if I’m more like *insert successful social media person*, then I’ll be successful too’. But, you’re never going to be a success in your own right by mimicking someone else.

Seeing perfectly laid out flaylays, avocado on toast and immaculate bikini snaps in foreign destinations is all lovely and whatnot. But I want to see that amongst the everyday. I think the web is crying out for a bit of rawness. Cutting back on what we think everyone wants to see, and revealing a dose of the everyday.

Not everything in life is glamorous, and that’s just the way it is. So why do we then in turn feel that we need showcase the glamour exclusively? Why do we beat ourselves up for not having a perfect life? The answer is in the question. Life isn’t perfect. And we shouldn’t have to feel bad about ourselves for it.

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13 Comments

  1. Little P Blog
    28th January 2018 / 4:33 pm

    This is a great blog post – I completely agree about the highlight reel and how so many glamorous shots are shared on Instagram and other platforms – enjoyed reading this, don’t put pressure on yourself to post anything other than what you want to write xx

  2. 28th January 2018 / 4:42 pm

    Absolutely loved this one. The honesty and realism expressed in this post is so endearing. I hope you will continue to write about everything that amazes and excites you. I agree that bloggers should never work on weekly deadlines.. a deadline should only mean that it brings motivation and discipline into your hobby.. it should be something that drives you rather than something that needs to be ticked off the checklist. It’s refreshing to read a something that makes you feel like its okay to not be perfect. Loved it. Cheers.
    Devyani from http://www.momsarentgentlemen.com

  3. 28th January 2018 / 5:58 pm

    Perfect post babe you’ve got it right on the nose. Society has just got people thinking that you have to be like this kind of person to be accepted. Really people should like the real life stuff the not quite perfect pics that aren’t edited. One day it will change hopefully xxx

  4. lydiajanexox
    28th January 2018 / 9:17 pm

    Good post, thanks for sharing this post it’s quite helpful 😃😃

  5. 29th January 2018 / 1:36 am

    Love this! I often fall into the rut of putting pressure on myself to blog—even when I started it just for fun. Keep doing what you’re doing friend! It’s hard to balance it all but you can do it!

  6. 29th January 2018 / 8:37 am

    My first blog made me feel those things – like not being able to put out my best. I started together with others- and now, they are all ahead of me. More popular, always invited to events, freebies, etc.
    Eventually, I had to stop blogging because life is happening, work is happening, family is happening, and these things are most important. So now, I just do it as a hobby. Yeah I do apologize not being able to post regularly, but being able to do at least 1 blog post for a week already feels like a huge achievement. So yeah, let’s all keep it real!

  7. Mademoiselleducci
    29th January 2018 / 11:25 am

    Omg! I feel like that’s one of society’s main problems right now. Great Topic. I love it!

  8. 29th January 2018 / 12:46 pm

    😭 I love you for posting this!

  9. 29th January 2018 / 2:06 pm

    Great post. I decided in the new year to just write what I want and stop worrying about likes. It’s been very freeing and oddly enough the likes have gone up. Ive cut back on how many blog post I put up as well. I was putting myself under too much pressure.

  10. 29th January 2018 / 5:42 pm

    yes girl, THIS! so much nicer to write what you love & post what you want, rather than worrying about likes & followers, etc. I’m all for not pretending to be perfect online 🙂

  11. Veronica M.
    29th January 2018 / 9:30 pm

    Thank you SO much for saying this!! I absolutely love instagram, but at the same time I know it puts way too much pressure on myself what with wanting to receive x many likes or followers, and the same goes for other social media. I’ve been more exploratory with my latest blog posts, regardless of the response I’ll receive, and I must say that takes a lot of pressure off. xoxo

  12. 1st February 2018 / 1:39 am

    This is a great post! I totally agree with your statements above 🙂 it’s simple and meaningfull

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